Random stuff that I like and now you do too.
Almost a year ago, I had the the wonderful idea of smoking weed and doing a news show. This came from two parts of my brain and heart: one said that stoners were looked down upon, which I despised, and second was that I was seriously into the news, reading every day and trusting my CNN app and other places to get news to expand my knowledge of what was going in the world.
The show was successful in every aspect; pre-production was amazing, figuring out how to look and sound professional, which news we were going to do, how high we were going to get and if we were going to get caught being red eyed in the school’s property. Production was beautiful, a day full of hard working people, especially the sober ones and in less than eight hours we were done. Then came post-production which was insane, as we shot a week before April 20th and had to accomplish finishing the show before that day. The editor, the color corrector and I pushed ourselves to the very limits, with the show actually finalized completely about an hour before 4:20pm on 4/20. Incredible. Like The Hulk.
Once released, the online reception was awesome, with my friends proudly sharing and congratulating me and best of all, seeing that people I did not know were watching and enjoying. We were literally reaching out, and the stats for the first week were made of small dreams. Then I had to tell my mom exactly what she had helped me do the budget for.
I had refrained from telling my mom what the show was about, and it was not until the only member of my family I had kept on my Facebook sent her a pic, not to cause any hassle but to share, I am almost sure she had no idea I was high in that picture. Neither did my mom, who told me I looked handsome and professional. The guilt trip had begun a soon as she said that, and the next day I drove to her house ready to tell her as I was positive she knew I had smoked marijuana before. She didn’t.
Our conversation went nowhere fast, and it was because of me, I acted defensive and brought up the fact Bill Gates smoked weed and he made it, probably the last stupid thing a parent wants to hear. I left that night with pride and later some tears as I realized my mother’s and I relationship would never be the same. Devastated and with the coldest “have a good night” interaction I ever had with my mom I went to sleep.
The next morning I woke up early and confused, deciding to meet my mom at her office to speak more calmly. She met me in the parking lot, obviously crying, and we spoke, calmly. I told her I felt I could not give up my values and beliefs because of her, and she understood that like a pimp, telling me she could not live my life but that I not only needed to think about my future as well as think that sometimes decisions are made for others who are important in our lives. I was scared no one would believe in me again if they knew I had stopped an original idea I had executed well because my mommy disapproved.
I thought about it, and felt about it and realized that this person who had at some point, and always, put me as a priority over her, chose to raise me before she even started to find love again after years, was telling me, asking me, to look deep in the heart and choose how I wanted and for the reasons I wanted. That show will never happen again.
As I look back now to that decision, I am hit in the face with a realization of the past. When I was about 6 years old my mom worked as a teacher during the day and for about two weeks she got her dream job, the one she had her Communications degree for and she was in primetime news, delivering them to the whole country of Colombia every night. She quickly quit the news because she was not able to spend time with her son. That’s a woman. That’s a mother. That’s love. And I am happy that I was able to reciprocate that to her, and I always will. Always.
westerners are obsessed with the idea of happiness as if it’s a constant state of being. happiness comes in moments. you dont “achieve” happiness. you experience it along with every other emotion on the spectrum. if you spend your life chasing this constructed idea of happiness you will never even be remotely content. work on being whole and feeling everything while increasing the happy moments. stop trying to be a “happy person.” just be a person.
You just wanna be like