Oh snap.

the-lonely-scottish-guy:

‘stop being overdramatic’ they say

‘i dont know what you mean’ i say as i descend from the ceiling, surrounded by mist

meladoodle:

aveycares:

when i was 13 i fingered a girl on an airplane

was it in plane sight?

teashoesandhair:

utterlydeceptivetwaddlespeak:

tommarvolohiddles:

mandatoryupgrades:

Anyone who thinks Shakespeare is boring apparently missed the greatest stage direction ever written:

I want that to be the final line of my biography.

let’s not forget about this gem from macbeth

and, of course, from henry v

ah, the leeks.

Guys are we forgetting Titus Andronicus or

drarna:

can’t wait for the release of jurassic park 4D where they just let dinosaurs loose in the theater and you have to try to survive for 2 hours

pupbutt:

everyone jokes about how leonardo dicaprio has never gotten an oscar but for real why the fuck hasn’t leonardo dicaprio ever gotten an oscar 

richwhitelesbian:

i carry a big spear everywhere so one day i’ll stop carrying it and someone will be trying to explain that i usually carry a big spear everywhere but the person they’re explaining it to wont believe them